Archive for October, 2015

Doppel-gangster

October 31, 2015

It’s sure gettin’ spooky out there these days:

“A Ewing man was arrested Thursday on charges of police impersonation, the Mercer County Sheriff’s Office announced.  John C. Williams [had modified] his Chevrolet SUV to look like a police vehicle with a working siren, tinted windows, police-type strobe lights in the front and back, police markings and decals, the sheriff’s office said.  Williams was arrested near his home on the 100 block of Crescent Avenue after a routine [!] search of his SUV turned up handcuffs, official Mercer County Prosecutor’s placards, State Police work clothes and an empty police-style pistol holster. Williams was charged with illegal possession of handcuffs, receiving stolen property and impersonating a police officer.  His SUV was impounded.”

OPP-priceless

What?!!??  Wait, it’s Halloween!  Nobody’s ever heard of a ghost car?  Here the poor guy was just getting his prize-winning holiday costume all together when …  along comes the Sheriff to ruin everything.  This sounds like the start of a great novel by Chester Himes (although he’d also make it work as a subplot if he had something tastier simmering on the stove’s biggest burner).  The police impersonator was a staple figure in the twisted shakedown/con schemes regularly confronted by protagonists Coffin Ed and Gravedigger Jones.  But for Himes, the black man’s American reality was always infinitely more absurd than the wildly improbable Harlem tales he concocted to make a living while in Europe during the 50’s and 60’s.

Unfortunately for Mr. Williams, reality has once again trumped fiction this week.  Will Robin Lord attempt a Halloween defense?  She’s likely to hear “Boo!” from the judge.

john_Williams_2015

Bear-Assed Nekkid

October 10, 2015

OK, it’s obviously “a thing” now: in his big-stage public appearances, Barack Obama is making damn sure that he gets photographed in front of a state flag that sends an additional message beyond the usual shoutout to local homies.  This time, it was port-of-call San Francisco –for an in-and-out DNC fundraising performance at the Warfield Theater.

2015_Bear-Obama_5

Introduced by Oakland Mayor Libby Schaaf and Steph Curry, Draymond Green and a half dozen of the NBA champion Golden State Warriors, Obama arrived in California riding his highest approval ratings in the Golden State since the start of his second term in 2013.  Sixty percent of the state’s registered voters approve of Obama’s performance, while 33 percent disapprove. [ The remaining 7 percent are too high to care. ]

And although POTUS’ public remarks ostensibly focused on a hot-button domestic political topic  –“the gun massacres that we see with growing frequency in this country“–  that big-ass bear behind him was marching under a red star that evoked ongoing massacres in another country … on the other side of the world.

Talkin’ ’bout Syria, where Comrade Bear is strewing his scat all over the countryside.  I don’t think it’s mere coincidence that Saturday’s fundraiser was held at San Francisco’s Warfield Theater. Get it? War Field theater?  Golden State Warriors?  This time, Team Obama’s intellectual montage imagery is making a veiled statement about international affairs in the Middle East. But what, exactly?

Well, for one thing, Brer Bear appears to be walking right toward the Stars and Stripes.  That may not be such a good idea, and may not turn out well.  Why, just last week, a resourceful Montana hunter heeded his granny’s advice and fended off a bear attack in hand-to-paw combat:

While hunting elk, Chase Dwello came face-to-face with a grizzly. The bear, who had been asleep, was now awake and startled. Dwello was knocked to the ground and tossed around by the grizzly, his head clenched in the bear’s powerful jaws. He survived by keeping his cool … and shoved his arm down the bear’s throat when he got the chance. He was lucky; the grizzly gagged and left him beaten and bruised.

Turns out that large animals like bears have a sensitive gag reflex.  Let’s wait and see what Comrade Bear will choke on.  Perhaps a hockey stick.

20151010_Bear-Obama