Hare Today, Gone Tomorrow

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Warning:  Acting on the advice of legal counsel, Waking the Dragon wishes to make clear that the following predictions for the Year of the Rabbit are not to be considered valid within the territorial boundaries of Romania, nor within any area where Romanian law may be in effect.  Mileage may vary.  Side effects may include loss of faith in the occult, increased sensitivity to the natural environment, or sudden ability to understand the Chinese language.

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Twelve months ago, Lunghu made four predictions about what would happen in the Year of the Tiger primarily because he wanted to see whether his track record would be any better than those of professional feng-shui soothsayers.   Lunghu’s predictions  weren’t based on feng-shui principles  –just on his knowledge of the world and its ineffable mysteries.   He didn’t expect any of his predictions other than the one about the hot, dry summer to actually come true, so it was both surprising and a bit spooky that a huge earthquake actually struck central Chile two weeks after Lunghu’s warning.

This time around, Lunghu is really pushing the envelope with predictions that he believes have very little likelihood of actually occurring.  Therefore, his first three predictions are wild, off-the-wall, out-of-left-field scenarios that are (probably) extremely unlikely.   These predictions constitute a genuine test of whether Lunghu can actually predict the future (given the nature of the predicted events, let’s hope he can’t).   Just to balance the scales a bit, Lunghu will add two milder, slightly-more-possible predictions that may not happen either.   But they might…

So, without further ado, here are Lunghu’s eagerly-awaited predictions for the Year of the Metal Rabbit:

Three Totally Outrageous Predictions

  • Lunghu believes that the South Korean military-industrial-political complex has already reached a secret strategic consensus:  the nation must develop its own nuclear arsenal in order to guarantee its long-term security.   The threat that ROK fears is not DPRK/North Korea.   Instead, they believe that the United States will be neither able nor willing to prevent China from using its growing military power against Korea over the long haul –the Koreans are thinking in terms of centuries rather than four-year election cycles.   What’s Lunghu’s prediction?   During the Year of the Rabbit, the United States will continue to pretend that it doesn’t know about South Korea’s decision.   China won’t. This should make six-party talks very interesting.
  • A non-trivial meteor strike in the Southern Ocean [ in the neighborhood of 75̊  E; 30̊  S ] will trigger a large tsunami, cause massive panic in the region, and result in widespread economic and environmental damage.
  • Belgium will finally cease to exist, splitting itself into Flanders and Wallonia.  Very few Americans will notice, or care.

Two Less Outlandish Predictions

  • Lunghu was hoping to avoid making any earthquake predictions this year, but he just can’t help himself:  there will be a powerful earthquake in Nicaragua that results in extensive damage during the first half of YoR.
  • Here is Lunghu’s only feng-shui-inflected prediction:  professional golfer Tiger Woods (as distinct from any other individual named Tiger Woods whom you might happen to know) will have a highly successful season during YoR. This is because Woods was born in a Rabbit year, and because he is highly skilled in the use of metal (putters as well as irons).   Need Lunghu add that his very surname further reinforces the ‘wood’ aspect of every Rabbit?  Tiger will be back on top in 2011.
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